Forgiveness, Key to Emotional Healing
When you forgive you do not change the past, you change the future.
Forgiveness is one of the subjects that people would want to talk about but normally cannot because they find it hard to do. Whenever you have to forgive, you cannot help but think about so many memories. A lot of these memories are painful and you do not want to go over them again. Everyone has dealt with sadness and pain at some point in their lives. There are times when we have caused people to feel sad and to experience pain while sometimes, we are the recipients of negative emotions and feelings. Whenever people do us wrong, we have the option to forgive them but it is not always easy.
Why is Forgiving so Hard?
Learning how to forgive is not very easy. Remember that forgiveness is key to emotional healing and you cannot help but feel anger whenever you encounter the person. Sometimes that the other person has done is so extreme that you will become really angry. You cannot help but keep your hurt and anger deep inside so that you can still function like a normal adult.
It can be annoying when people will keep telling you to just let go of the pain and anger. They are not in your position so they do not know what you are feeling. There are moments when you cannot help but feel confused about the other things that you still have to do. You tend to forget about living your life to the fullest because you are confined and imprisoned by your anger.
Forgiveness is the key to emotional healing but can be problematic for a lot of people because they do not know what it is. They do not understand how to do it. When you forgive, you should not make the mistake of assuming that forgiveness is one of the following:
- Condoning the mistake that the person has done
- Denying that something has happened
- Suppressing the emotions that you are feeling
If you have gotten hurt, then allow yourself to feel the pain. You need to face it and understand it because this is the only thing that you can do so that you can start moving on from what you are experiencing. If you would like to forgive someone, there is no need to reconcile with that person. You do not need to become a friend again. You do not need to be that person’s partner again. You can live your life being away from that person but you have already accepted the mistakes that he/she has done.
One of the reasons why it can be so hard to forgive is because of the grudges you formed in your heart, mind and soul. You find it hard to trust other people again because you have been hurt. It is understandable but if people are also going to be affected by the grudges that you have made, will it be fair to them?
Holding a grudge is a natural defense mechanism that you may do when you are hurting but the time will come when you would realize that there is no point in holding on to something that will not make you feel good. You may think that you need to seek revenge and it might feel good in the beginning but later on, you will realize that doing something negative can make you feel bad as a person.
Giving Forgiveness is a Skill (That will be Hard to Perfect)
Being able to forgive is not something that you can do easily. There are times when you will be forced to ‘forgive’ someone just because there are other people who are witnessing the event. True forgiveness is going to be a bit complicated but you can teach yourself to know how to forgive effectively. You need to remember that you are not perfect. You can make mistakes too and you would also want other people to forgive you.
If even with this realization you are still finding it hard to forgive, you can ask yourself if you would like to continue with enduring the pain even if you have the option to get better through forgiveness. Remember that you always have a choice. You always have the option to forgive. Most people say that the moment they give true forgiveness, they usually feel lighter and more joyful. You can feel these emotions too the moment that you learn to let go.
Recognizing How You Feel
There are moments when you just want to forget about all of the hurt and the pain associated with the things you have experienced but if you do not face these emotions now, they will continue to hurt you in the long run.
There are some things that you can do in order to get in touch with your emotions. For example, you have to know how do you currently feel. You usually know the answer to this just by looking within you. You can write down your emotions in a notebook. It will allow you to come to terms with it and accept it.
You have to listen to what your body is telling you. Do you feel like your shoulders are extremely tight? This is because you are tense because of whatever emotion you are feeling. When you are starting to feel tense, do not try to let go of the tension by eating that pint of ice cream or the whole bar of chocolate you have been saving up. Rather, you can just exercise and do some stretching. It will make you feel more relaxed. Remember that the more relaxed you feel, the better it is going to be for you.
There are some people who tend to feel better whenever they think about the things that they believe in. They remember their values and what they have learned from their elders. They use that in order to understand their anger and eventually let go of their anger so that they can forgive.
You can undergo emotional healing the moment that you learn how to forgive and if this is what you aspire, you can do it soon.
Holistic Therapist, Professional Counselor, Energy Healer in Coral Springs, Boca Raton, Deerfield Beach, FL
561 252 3707 – IntuitiveBea@gmail.com
Life-coach, Master Tarot Teacher, Certified Theta-Healing® Practitioner, Certified & Licensed Counselor