Fear is an unpleasant emotion, induced by a threat pertaining to a present or a future situation. Nearly all that blocks you, creates limitations or curbs flexibility in your life is the sign of fear. Fear can be disparaging to our bodies and minds. It produces changes in brain and organ function and, If not controlled, it could lead to a change in behavior, such as running away, hiding or freezing from traumatic events.
Fear could be caused by a variety of reasons – a perceived risk to health, life, status, power, security, wealth or loneliness. In fact, a disproportionably large number of people in America having no one with whom they can share their personal thoughts or dreams, troubles or triumphs.
In a way, the reduction of social interactions is a flip side of our achievements as society: reliance on yourself, “doing your own thing.” A desire to be viewed as a “winner,” the determination to be “in control” at all costs — is a quality that isolates us from each other and keeps us from interdependency with our family and friends. Loneliness is also a consequence of the culture of consumerism, watching too much TV, attachment to electronic gadgets, longer work hours and longer commutes. A sexual revolution brought about a separation of physical sexual act from an emotional attachment. It also resulted in unprecedented amount of single parent families, where children are not so different from orphans.
In the healing of holiday blues and fears is particularly acute loneliness- when a person has nowhere to go and has no circle of friends and family to share a holiday meal and holiday cheers. If you have this fear – you are not alone. No matter how brave you may seem to be in other situations, this fear is emotionally harmful.
What can you do to confront loneliness?
Awareness Choose to bring your awareness to your experience. Although it may sound elementary, but make yourself to sit quietly and try to be mindful of your situation and your emotional state. Pay attention to how your body feels—the hollowness in your chest, the constriction in your throat, the heaviness of your body. If you feel the sadness allow yourself to cry without restraint.
Many people instinctively try to run from loneliness or hide from it – sleep, watch TV, or play video games, distract themselves by keeping busy and superficially engaged in life. Sometimes, people try to get rid of the pain by blaming themselves for it, seeing themselves as being unworthy of others. They amplify all their flaws or mistakes and punish themselves for them. Frequently, their unconscious hope is that if they could identify what’s wrong with themselves and fix it, then they can make the pain go away. Or, if they can’t make it go away, they can at least make sense of it. But they only feel worse for their efforts. Stop judging yourself! Instead, choose to stay with the feeling. Acknowledge your loneliness and choose to continue being aware of it.
Reminding yourself that others feel lonely, too. Like many other hardships, loneliness is part of the human experience that most people share at some point in time. Absorb the realization that just as you would show compassion for anyone else who suffers from loneliness, you deserve compassion a well. So, look at yourself as you would look at someone else in a similar situation and feel compassion for yourself just as you would for someone else.
If you have supportive others in your life, reach out to them. Healing holiday blues and fears requires to take a deep breath- pick up the phone to text or call- and ask for support in whatever form you need it. Allowing yourself to truly connect with others will help you feel emotionally stronger and less alone.
Fear is not a useless emotion. It’s a natural reaction to a potentially harmful situation, preventing people from careless and silly actions or excessively risky behavior.
Similarly, there are benefits to loneliness. By feeling lonely, you are able to understand and have compassion for others who feel similarly. Your loneliness can also be a crucial signal that your relationships are not as emotionally close, supportive, or engaging as you really want them to be. So it offers you a chance to identify this problem and make efforts to fix it.
Thus, accept and feel your loneliness. Then offer yourself compassion. Doing this will help to ease your pain, open you up to experiencing a sense of feeling connected, and help you to take the necessary steps to reach out to others.
Try to open up
Try to open up to another person, someone you feel could understand your pain and, thus, establish a new connection. Someone you reach to might be just as lonely as you are. You can confront loneliness together.
Where can you meet people?
You have several things at your disposal; join a community or a meet-up group, become a part of a charity, an animal rescue group in your community or a place of your religious affiliation. Realize that if you are around people who chose an activity that require compassion, they would feel compassion to your sufferings as well.
Don’t give up to fear! Remember, a brave person is not the one who doesn’t feel fear, but the one who can control it. Face your fear. Permit yourself to be helpless and put down the shields you have used to secure yourself. All shields are a representation of a faith in peril and in this way lead you to the exact risk you need them to ensure you from. Keep your mind focused on replacing that fear with action. Protect yourself from loneliness by increasing your focus—do all the things that occupy your heart and mind and set the fear aside.
For healing holiday blues and fears you have to be on control of your life and you are responsible for your own decisions. Realize that fear is just a feeling, nothing more than a movement of liquids in your body and brain. Your spirit is independent of it. You can make yourself to let go of that fear.
As Franklin D. Roosevelt so aptly put it, “There is nothing to fear but fear itself”.
Holistic Therapist, Intuitive Counselor, Psychic Reader
561 252 3707 – IntuitiveBea@gmail.com
Life-coach, Master Tarot Teacher, Certified Theta-Healing® Practitioner, Certified & Licensed Counselor